Stat of the Day
Since the First Four was introduced (2011) at least one team that played in the games advanced to the Sweet 16 in four of five years. In the other year, one of the teams made it to the Round of 32. That’s good news for Michigan, Tulsa, Wichita State and Vanderbilt. And Holy Cross. OK, not Holy Cross.
Now you can shoot like Steph Curry! Also, I’m a Nigerian prince and would you mind cashing this check for me?
Monday was Steph Curry’s birthday, so many media companies (read: all of them) used it as an excuse to drive clicks through the roof just by typing his name. I’m doing it today. It’s fun. One of those was Sports Illustrated, which actually had an interesting article written by Chris Ballard that attempts to explain how to shoot like Steph. Ballard opens by saying it’s a ridiculous premise, because it is. Nobody has ever shot like Steph Curry, and until his daughter Riley Curry and her little sister break the gender barrier in the NBA in 2032, nobody will. But if you’re at least curious as to why this skinny dude with chin pubes is dominating the NBA, this will give you an idea.
Victor Martinez hurt, should we panic? YES … OK, maybe not
Detroit Tigers’ designated DL occupier Victor Martinez suffered a “mild hamstring strain” on Monday, which could range anywhere from “drink a beer tonight before bed and maybe sit out tomorrow” to “drink two beers tonight before bed and definitely sit out tomorrow” for most people. Of course, this is Victor Martinez, so “season-ending DL stint” is somehow also on the table. The Tigers’ lineup could be one of the best in the majors with a healthy V-Mart. Or it could be disappointingly average.
Martavis Bryant: no longer your fantasy sleeper
Steelers receiver Martavis Bryant will not appeal his year-long suspension for violating the NFL’s Substance Abuse Policy. This means two things: 1. All those people who planned to keep Bryant for their fantasy teams because they got him crazy cheap a year ago, now have to play fair like the rest of us; 2. Antonio Brown is going to catch 300 passes next year.
Slippin’ on some slip slip, slippin’ on some glass slippers
George Mason. VCU. Davidson. Butler. Florida Gulf Coast. Some team you and I have never seen play is going to join the ranks of the greatest Cinderella stories this and next weekend. It’s really what drives people to watch the tournament. I don’t give a dang crud about UNC-Willmington, but I--along with everyone else--will be falling off my chair if they take out Duke in the first round. Nothing eases the pain of losing a final four team day one quite like watching it happen at the hands of a No. 15 seed. It’s going to happen. And nobody knows who it’s going to be. But the numbers say VCU, PIttsburgh, Gonzaga, Vanderbilt and Yale might have a say in it.
The people who get paid to do this weigh in
The expert picks are rolling in. Sports Illustrated, CBS Sports, USA Today, Dick Vitale, Jay Bilas breaks down every game for ESPN Insider, which you can’t see unless you subscribe and pay for it, but his pick is Kansas over North Carolina in the final. They’re all out there for your peroozle. Two things are for certain with expert picks. One, these people watch more college basketball than almost anybody else. And two, like the rest of us, none of them have a damn clue of exactly what’s going to happen. (but still it’s probably not a bad idea to look over all of these to find some commonalities between them . . . these people do watch and know basketball for a living after all)
On the hardwood, which is a fancy term for a basketball court
The Pistons lost by 43, so that’s probably not a good thing for them. The Houston Rockets won by 49. Nine players scored in double figures for Houston, which is crazy impressive and Josh Smith did not get to play a single minute in the blowout which is even more impressive. And the Golden State Warriors let Andrew Bogut shoot 3s because why not. They’re now 60-6, which means 2K is probably going to start cheating to stop them.
And finally, to the hardwater, which is what nobody calls the ice in hockey
The Kings shut out Chicago 5-0 and the Islanders knocked off the Florida Panthers in front of a robust crowd of approximately 17 fans. More importantly … ANTHONY MANTHA!
Tweet of the Day (year)
LLCOOLJ— LLCOOLJ. (@llcoolj) March 14, 2016
Vine of the Day
Jon Gruden: Quarterback whisperer and pool party troublemaker.
Easter Egg Link Clue of the Day
Yesterday’s clue “3:16, brother” was a reference to Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hulk Hogan. Clicking the link of Stephen F. Austin brought you to a wonderful GIF of the two of them smashing beer cans together and pouring the beer all over themselves. If it were anymore erotic, Gawker would own exclusive rights.
Today’s clue: Ron Hunter
Did Tim Tebow get signed today?
No, Tim Tebow remains a free agent at this time.
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