The Game Managers: April 2016

Saturday, April 30, 2016

April 30, 2016: The Game Managers are getting emotional about the NFL Draft

THE GAME MANAGERS HAVE A DECLARATION TO MAKE

CODY KESSLER IS NOT BETTER THAN CONNOR COOK

What everyone will be watching this weekend

The NFL Draft … again

The main drama remaining on Day 3 is when will Michigan State quarterback Connor Cook be selected. As you can see, Wil is kinda miffed by this. Cook is too good to still be on the board, especially with Christian Hackenberg, Jacoby Brissett and the aforementioned Cody Kessler being off it. Lions GM Bob Quinn said that Cook passed all his medicals, which pokes a hole in the “his shoulder is more hurt than we knew” theory. Although this is draft weekend, where NFL GMs are allowed to lie their faces off for 72 hours with impunity. All signs point to Cook’s attitude actually being the issue here. Now that teams aren’t necessarily looking for future starters, Cook is in play for seemingly everyone.

As for the rest of the draft, the Lions still have about 453 picks left, so there’s some intrigue. I’d expect them to start building some depth at the skill positions or even the secondary.

Playoffs?

The NHL has a pair of games each day, with the Islanders and Lightning playing at 3 (NBC), and the Caps and Penguins at 8 (NBC) Saturday; and the Stars and Blues playing at 3 (NBC) and the Sharks and Predators at 8 (NBCSN) on Sunday. It feels like each of theses series will be plenty entertaining whenever the NFL Draft gets out of the way.

The NBA can’t decide which round it’s in (to be fair, the NHL did this earlier this week), but there’s plenty of intrigue in each of the four matchups scheduled. The Thunder and Spurs open what should be one of the more entertaining series we’ve seen in a while at 8:30 Saturday on TNT. The Spurs seem like the choice, but the thought of Russell Westbrook scoring 50 a night against the Spurs point guards while Kawhi Leonard sticks to Kevin Durant makes things kind of cloudy.

Portland travels to Golden State (3:30 Sunday on ABC) to start their second-round series, which won’t include Steph Curry, giving the Trailblazers a glimmer of hope. Then there’s the two Game 7s, as Charlotte heads to Miami (1 Sunday on ABC) and Indiana heads to Toronto (8 Sunday on TNT).

Those sly Foxes

How would you pronounce this word?

“Leicester”

Did you say “Lie-Chester” like a normal English-speaking human being would? Well, you’re wrong, because English people are dumb. It’s “Lester” like “Major League pitcher Jon Lester”.

“Lester.”

How dumb is that? Why even have the “ice” in the middle of the name? There’s probably a good joke in there somewhere…..that’s all I have to say on the Premier League. We now go to Paul for more in depth coverage.

Thanks, Wil!

No matter how you choose to pronounce the name, Leicester City Football Club is three points away from clinching its first Premier League title, which I believe we’ve told you before is like Eastern Michigan winning the College Football Playoff. Leicester can clinch with a win at Manchester United, which only adds to the intrigue -- a tiny club on a tight budget winning a season-long title on the hallowed home of perhaps the world’s most famous club. Even if Leicester don’t win Sunday (game’s at 9 a.m. Sunday on either NBCSN or NBC, we can’t do all the work for you) it is very likely to win at some point, as Tottenham needs to be perfect, and Leicester would need to drop a home match against an Everton side that has given up on the season.

WAIT THE SUPER RICH TEAMS ARE LETTING A TEAM CALLED “LESTER” WIN THE WHOLE DANG THING? LESTER?! OVER THE MANCHESTERS AND CHELSEAS?! LESTER SOUNDS LIKE A GUY WHO PUSHES HIS OVER-SIZED EYE GLASSED UP THE BRIDGE UP HIS NOSE WHEN YOU CALL HIS NAME. THAT’S LIKE A DOOFY FOOTBALL TEAM WINNING THE SUPER BOWL WHILE BEING NAMED THE CHETS . . . OR THE BROWNS.

I can’t argue with any of that.

About last night …

Paul cried when Jaylon Smith got drafted

True statement. The Cowboys took Jaylon Smith with the third pick of the second round, which is higher than anyone expected him to go. The Notre Dame star who is recovering from a knee injury serious enough to keep him off the field in 2016, and who knows how long after that, is a top-5 talent when healthy, and if the Cowboys get healthy Jaylon Smith -- their team doctor did perform his surgery, so he likely has an idea of what’s going on -- they got the steal of the draft. Or maybe the Jaguars did, as they took Myles Jack -- the other top 5 linebacker talent with a serious knee injury -- two picks later. The Jaguars are starting to look extremely entertaining, which is a weird thing to type.

In the Not a Steal category, the Buccaneers traded UP to draft Florida State kicker Roberto Aguayo in the second round. Don’t get us wrong, Aguayo being perfect from 39 yards and in is a type of consistency that’s valuable in the NFL now that extra points are more of a challenge, but he’s missed a third of his kicks beyond 40, which isn’t great for an NFL kicker. And certainly not great for a second-round pick. But you do you, Bucs.

Here’s a link to all the results.

Austin Rivers got F’d up, Clippers bounced

Those two things don’t exactly go together, because Austin Rivers’ health isn’t directly related to the Clippers losing, but both happened last night in the same game. Portland won 106-103 in Game 6, completing the rare Sweep After Being Down 2-0. The Blazers are right back at it Sunday against the Warriors.

Elsewhere in the NBA, Indiana beat up on Toronto to force Game 7 in a series we (Paul) claimed wouldn’t be exciting, and Dwyane Wade took Flashback Friday -- the less popular stepsister to Throwback Thursday -- quite literally in leading the Hornets to a road win in Charlotte, forcing a Game 7.

Rest trumps rust

San Jose scored five (!) goals in the third period to take Game 1 from Nashville. Remember, the Predators played a Game 7 two days prior, while the Sharks had been relaxing following their five-game series win against the Kings. In the other Western Conference semifinal, Dallas protected home ice in a 2-1 win against St. Louis. We didn’t watch any of these games, so we don’t have much to add.

The best of the rest

Nick Castellano tank top game on point, on fleek, 100, and however else the young kids say cool.

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Let’s check in with former Florida Governor Jeb Bush spelling the name of Miami basketball mega-star Dwyane Wade!

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No, that’s not at all how you spell his name, Mr. Bush. Oh, you want to correct it? That’s nice.

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Dangit. We can’t disagree, though, Mr. Governor, Dewaene Waeyde is the man. Please clap.

You’d think a black cat sneaking on the ice before the game would be a bad omen for the Sharks, but you’d be wrong because cats are awesome, especially black ones. And the Sharks won 5-2. But really, how the heck does that cat even get out there? You had one job, teal shirt guy.

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If you are ever lucky enough to sit courtside at an NBA game . . . for your family’s sake, don’t be this person.

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Don’t talk shit to NBA players unless you’re fully prepared to look like an asshole on national TV when he drains a jumper in your face.

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Here are a couple of our favorite tweets about Lions 2nd round pick A’Shawn Robinson looking 45, even though he just turned 21.

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And a couple of the best re: Heckenberg

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This is really mean of Papi, but dammit we’d do the same thing if we were him.

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And my (Wil) favorite tweet of the night is just a perfect encapsulation of what most fans think of moving a team to London full time.

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Friday, April 29, 2016

April 29, 2016: The Game Managers think you should change your password

Quote of the day

“I have to say yeah.” - Laremy Tunsil when asked if there was an exchange of money between he and his coach. Not the best thing to say right after you get drafted.

About last night . . .

What happened to Laremy Tunsil last night?

If you missed it, this will catch you up. The short version is that somebody went to some great lengths to sabotage his draft with things from his past. The leading rumor candidate is this is the work of Tunsil’s stepfather, a man who Tunsil beat the shit out of for allegedly assaulting Tunsil’s mom. Suffice it to say it’s just a weird situation capped off by a weird night. It sucks for Tunsil, who had the biggest night of life ruined, but man was it kind of amazing for the rest of us. I mean, if it would have just stopped at “tweeted out a video five minutes before the draft of himself taking a rip out of a gas mask attached to a bong” that would have been an amazing enough story. But to have it continue with the Instagram hacking after he was picked followed by an admission he was paid by a coach? Holy shit. Clearly someone told him to be honest and forthright with his answers when he faced the press, they just didn’t realize that the press would also be armed with screenshots of text messages that made Ole Miss look like SMU. Not that anyone was really surprised by it, but still.

Ok, but other players were drafted, right?

Yes, here’s a full list.

And here’s a schedule for rounds 2-6.

Some stray thoughts:

The Lions took Taylor Decker, which is fine. He’s a good player who had a really good career at Ohio State. There are probably some legitimate concerns about how Ohio State runs its offense and what it asks its linemen to do, and how that will translate to the NFL, but he certainly has the size, skill and mean streak necessary to play offensive line for a long time in this league.
Back to Tunsil (sort of) for a minute. The players who benefited the most from his fall? Joey Bosa and Ronnie Stanley. The Chargers were pretty clearly spooked and took Bosa at No. 3, which changed the landscape of the draft (the tweet changed the landscape, actually, but this was confirmation). Stanley also became the top tackle, and went No. 6 to the Ravens, who completely took Tunsil off their board. Yes, the team that has canonized a man who was closely tied to a murder, passed on drafting a college kid that smoked weed.
There’s still plenty of talent on the board, led by UCLA linebacker Myles Jack. His knee injury is clearly scaring teams, which sucks for him, but is going to really be amazing for the team that winds up taking a chance on him. A’Shawn Robinson, Jarran Reed and Reggie Ragland are all still available from Alabama’s defense, as is their gi-normous running back, Derrick Henry. With Robinson and Reed still available, the DT board remains stacked, which means teams took a look at it and realized they could get real value later. They were right. Clemson corner Mackensie Alexander is also available, and Paul will wet his pants if the Lions draft him in the second round.

Wait, did they actually play sports last night?

Yeah, the Atlanta Hawks beat the Boston Celtics for the right to lose to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavs next round. We did not watch. You did not watch. Hawks and Celtics fans didn’t watch. Nobody watched.

And the Capitals took game one over Pittsburgh and it seems like it was a really good game. Again, we didn’t watch it. But it went to overtime! So it was probably really exciting. TJ Oshie had a hattrick. Honestly, why do other sports leagues even have games the same night as the first round of the NFL draft? Don’t they know how addicted this country is to football? And it has been a long time since we’ve had real football things to chew on. The draft is like the bender an addict goes on after he or she has to be clean for a month in order to pass a drug test for a new job. Yes, that means the NFL draft is exactly the same for fans as it is for about half of the first round picks.

They probably played a bunch of baseball, but [checks calendar] it’s not even May yet.

Things to read today

“The SEC's crusade against satellite camps was the most transparent, cynical, foolish waste of time in NCAA history.”

Jim Harbaugh 1, SEC 0. This whole satellite camp thing was dumb, and now it’s over. Probably. OK, definitely not completely over.

In case you needed more on Tunsil

Dan Wetzel provides it here. God, this 30 for 30 is going to absolutely amazing.

The best of the rest

The drafted started with a bang . . . or, rather, a smattering of boos.

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The Tunsil tweets started *rolling* in.

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Big fan of the Lions’ new GM

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This is a sad picture

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This is a good tweet

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Corey Coleman: Professional lion

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Urban Meyer being uncool will never be uncool

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Thursday, April 28, 2016

April 28, 2016: The Game Managers are so ready for the Lions to make a bad pick

Quote of the day

“I don’t think this team ever quit.” -- Rockets interim coach JB Bickerstaff, lying to you, me, himself, his grandma, his dad and the rest of the world.

About last night . . .

Miiiiiiaaaamiiiiiiiii-oh shit

The Charlotte Hornets won in Miami to take a 3-2 series lead. It was the first road playoff win for Charlotte in 14 years. The potential LeBron James vs. Miami series we all want to see in the Eastern Conference Finals is now in very real danger, as the Heat need to win a road playoff game to stay alive, which is not easy as evidence by that Charlotte stat we just gave you. Having no interest other than our own entertainment, we’re really hoping Miami can pull this one out.

Warriors are still kinda good without Steph

Golden State ran roughshod over the Rockets in Game 5, jumping out to a 17-point lead in the first quarter and rolling to a series-clinching win. Steph Curry, of course, didn’t play, but Klay Thompson is still good at shooting a ball into a basketball ring (don’t sue us, Ted). The Warriors probably will need to get through Round 2 without Steph, but that’s looking more and more possible every day.

Clippers not quite as good without CP3 and Blake

I don’t know what type of witch Doc Rivers pissed off on his way to LA, but she’s certainly vindictive. Without Chris Paul, who’s lost for the playoffs with a broken hand, and Blake Griffin, who’s lost for the playoffs with a quad injury, the Clippers lost Game 5 at home against Portland. Now LA has to win a Game 6 without those same superstars on the road, and yeah, that’s not happening.

The second round of the NHL Playoffs started before the first round ended

That’s a true statement and weird. Tampa Bay and New York played game one of their second-round series three hours before the puck dropped in game 7 of the Nashville and Anaheim series. The Islanders took game one in Tampa Bay. It’s a great start for New York, who are looking to win their second straight series and third in 23 years (because prior to last week they hadn’t won one since 1993).

The first round ended

Nashville had never played a Game 7 in its franchise history, while the Ducks have a history of not doing well in them. Apparently ignorance is bliss, as Nashville went into Anaheim and won 2-1 to knock the Pacific Division champions out of the postseason. It’s the fourth straight year the Ducks have lost a series in a Game 7 after taking a 3-2 series lead. That is insane. Nashville heads into Round 2 to play San Jose in a series that starts on Friday night. A true test of the rust vs. rest argument.

Things to read today, a.k.a here are all the mock drafts

First round of the NFL draft is tonight, and there’s no better way to act like you something about it than reading all of the mock drafts.

Here’s four from NFL.com

And we’ll give you one that’s a little different. Prediction Machine uses computer simulations and spits out a 7 round mock draft that’s goal is “Focusing solely on verifiable, objective information about each player and ignoring what pundits think will actually happen with each pick, each draft selection below finds the ideal fit at each pick based upon the following: team needs, previous and future picks, ability to tolerate risk, players' strengths, weaknesses, ceilings and floors, offensive and defensive scheme assignments and players' relevant talent levels.”

The best of the rest

Lane Kiffin, for those who do not know, is the Offensive Coordinator for Alabama. And today he did some weird things online.