May 12, 2016: The Game Managers think Max Scherzer should get half credit

Quote of the Day

“To be able to punch out 20, that’s sexy.” Fucking Max Scherzer.

About Last Night …

Warriors move on

Portland hung around in Game 5, but the Golden State Warriors ended the Trailblazers season behind another big night from the Splash Bros. Klay Thompson had 33 and Steph Curry had 29, and the two combined to shoot 11-20 from 3. Splash Bros. should be a video game by now. Or at least a porn. It may already be a porn. You know what, let’s all be safe and not google it.

Raptors take 3-2 lead in worst series ever

The Raptors and the Heat are probably going to end up playing a seven-game series, and by the laws of sports and sports commentating, we’re required to call all seven-game series epic battles, or something like that. This has not been that. The games have been close, but that does not mean they’ve been good. Between the injuries, piss poor shooting and knowledge the Cavs are going to crush whoever ends up winning here, we can pretty much agree this will be one of the more forgettable seven-game series of all time. Then again, Toronto -- which won Wednesday -- could win Game 6 and make it one of the more forgettable six-game series of all time.

Game 7s aren’t supposed to look like this

NHL Game 7s are supposed to leave you on the edge of your seat for 2 hours. You’re not supposed to be able to take a potty break, even during intermissions, on the off chance someone scores and changes the tide of the game. That was not the case in St. Louis’ 6-1 thrashing of Dallas Wednesday. The Blues jumped out to a 3-0 lead in the first period, and added two more in the second just in case Stars fans had any ideas of a comeback in mind. So now three of the four conference finals slots are filled, with the winner of tonight’s Game 7 between Nashville and San Jose to fill the final one.

Max Scherzer strikes out all the Tigers

Former Tiger Fucking Max Scherzer struck out 20 Tigers in a 3-2 win for the Nationals, tying the MLB record for strikeouts in a nine-inning game. Scherzer did it in 119 pitches -- because god forbid the Tigers ever make a pitcher work late into a count -- and 97 of those were strikes, which is absurd. Of the 20 strikeouts, 18 were swinging strikeouts, because of course they were, he was pitching against the Tigers. Ian Kinsler, JD Martinez, Miguel Cabrera, James McCann and Anthony Gose each wore a Golden Sombrero, and somehow Victor Martinez went 3-4. This performance also came with the Tigers’ best hitter this year -- Nick Castellanos -- on the bench. For, like, the whole game. Even when there was a chance to pinch hit him in the ninth inning of a one-run game. Tough to blame Brad Ausmus for wanting to see history.

Things to Read

Tim Duncan is old

SB Nation’s Tom Ziller takes a look at Tim Duncan, who looks old on a basketball court for the first time in his career. On one hand, it’s amazing that it’s taken this long. On the other, it’s kind of sad to see Tim Duncan being a liability for his team.

Find your rookie fantasy sleepers here

When it comes to fantasy football and rookies, it’s not always about who’s the best, but about who fits best into the system they were drafted in, and will be utilized. This SI.com article isn’t necessarily fantasy based, but it does give some insight into the best schematic fits among the rookie class, and that should give you some ideas for your draft in August.

Best of the Rest

Portland made some interesting lineup decisions …

Then again, it probably doesn’t matter who you have guarding him.

Of course, not everything can be awesome and amazingly athletic every night. Big ups to Andrew Bogut’s cup.

Nobody would argue with this. I’m still picking the Cavs in a sweep.

Oh god, the carnage!

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May 11, 2016: The Game Managers don't think you should be your life savings on the Cubs

Quote of the day

“I want a divorce.” - The wife of Don Majewski after his $200,000 bet on the Cubs to win the World Series inevitably succumbs to the Cubs’ history. Note: Since the picture of the bet slip made the rounds, the MGM has said the bet is illegitimate, because the ticket has been altered (the black marker Majewski drew over the bet #). We’re not sure if that means he gets his money back and it’s like the bet never happened, or he’s now out $200,000 because he had to draw on his bet slip so he could send out a tweet. If it’s the latter, his wife may have already filed for that divorce.

About last night . . .

Russell Westbrook is a bad, bad man

Kevin Durant is the best player on the Oklahoma City Thunder. Not that something this subjective could ever be considered a fact, but Durant is an unprecedented talent in size, handle, shooting, wingspan, etc. His best is better than anyone else’s best save Steph and LeBron and the gap is small. Durant is great. But he doesn’t crush dreams like Westbrook. He doesn’t hate every single ounce of everything and dunk the living hell out of your soul like Westbrook. Look, getting casual threes rained on your head and in your face will sting the ego and make for tough basketball success, but watching a 6-1 energizer bunny kick your teammate in the chest and rip the rim down with his teeth will make you feel like there might be better things to do with your time than hustle around within spitting distance of something like that and “maybe we should stop playing defense, because if we keep making him turn it over he might punt the ball off our faces and into the hoop in the second half.”

Oklahoma City is up 3-2 and Game 6 is tomorrow night in Oklahoma.

Capitals show resolve, but are still the Capitals

Down 3-2 in the series and 3-0 in game 6 on the road, it all looked so familiar for the Washington Capitals and their fans. And then something odd happened. They scored. Then they scored again. And a third! Who were these guys and what had they done with the folding Washington Capitals of years past? Well, they weren’t totally gone, as Pittsburgh eventually won in overtime and won the series. The Capitals can hang their helmets on the fact that they did come back in the game and almost came back from down 3-1 to get a Game 7 at home, but this was one of the best teams in the last decade in the regular season and, once again, they came up short.

Also, the game would have ended earlier in overtime if Jay Beagle hadn’t made the save of the year:

The Penguins will play the Lightning in the Eastern Conference Finals.

UFC for sale

According to ESPN’s business insider/brand robot Darren Rovell, the UFC is up for sale by the current owners. It’s a private business, so things like this tend to be tricky--they don’t have to disclose things like this--but Rovell feels pretty confident in his sourcing that the mixed martial arts league is fetching bids, which are estimated to reach $3.5-$4 billion. Rovell also went on Sportscenter later in the day and mentioned that the sellers of the UFC, namely the Fertitta brothers, could become major players in bringing the Oakland Raiders to Las Vegas if the sale were to go through.

Daily Fantasy Sports go in front of Congress, DraftKings and FanDuel pass.

Here’s what you need to know about it:

“The House Energy and Commerce Committee’s Subcommittee on Manufacturing and Trade will hold its first hearing into daily fantasy sports Wednesday morning. But with the election year, the typical slow-moving nature of Congress and especially the absence of the industry’s major players — no representatives from DraftKings, FanDuel or any major sports leagues will be in attendance, despite invitations — and legal experts and industry observers don’t expect much immediate concrete action to come out of the proceedings.”

That’s from this from the Huffington Post. The professional sports leagues, involved in daily fantasy sports by way of their players being in the games, won’t be represented there either. It seems like not much is going to happen here.

Things to read today

A crap ton of words on American Sports’ greatest treasure Vin Scully?

A crap ton of words on American Sports’ greatest treasure Vin Scully!

Inside the mind of Draymond Green

Draymond Green is a super interesting basketball player and a super interesting person and he’s been keeping a playoff diary for The Undefeated. I did not know he was doing this and now I’m glad I know he is.

The best of the rest

Russ made a face, y’all

The internet has gone too far

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May 10, 2016: The Game Managers don’t know why you’re watching Tigers baseball in May

Quote of the day

“Do I think they’re done? Of course I think they’re done.” Draymond Green, All-NBA Future Teller, Shit Talker and Forward.

About last night . . .

Steph back

Steve Kerr played his Steph Curry card last night, and it turns out that a couple weeks off has not made Curry bad at basketball. He had 40 points, nine rebounds and eight assists in 37 minutes off the bench, including an NBA record 17 points in overtime, leading the Warriors to a Game 4 win. Maybe it was all the “LeBron is the real MVP” talk? Whatever it was, Curry is back, and while he might be kind of sore today, the Warriors certainly don’t have to worry about bringing him slowly back into the fold when they play either the Spurs or the Thunder in the Western Conference Finals.

Heat save season, produce perfect moment of poetry

Miami evened their series with Toronto with an OT win, but that’s not really the story here. Late in overtime with the Heat clutching to a four point lead, this happened.

(if you don’t want to watch, Wade tries a layup and the ball just gets stuck sitting on the back of the rim. Not wedged on the side . . . just gently sitting on top)

The reason this is important is because it is a perfect metaphor for the quality of basketball played in this series, especially relative to the basketball being played in the other series. It’s as if the basketball Gods had decided enough was enough and there should be no more Heat v Raptors. Twitter agreed.

Game 5 is probably tomorrow night. (it is)

Stars force game 7

Dallas scored 3 goals on their first 7 shots and then held on for dear life to send the series to a 7th game back in Dallas. This was the third of those three, as the Blues literally and metaphorically fell on their faces with the chance to advance to the West Finals . . .

The Blues carried the play, ending up with a 37-14 advantage in shots, but as every fan of the mid-2000s Red Wings can attest to, that doesn’t mean much in the playoffs. Game 7 is tomorrow night and we can’t wait.

So do the Predators

Nashville is refusing to be done with the postseason, too, as it came back from a 2-0 deficit in the first period to force its own Game 7 against the Sharks. A Viktor Arvidsson goal in overtime kept the Predators alive, and he was kind enough to score it 2:03 into the first OT. As you all know, playoff overtime is not good for your heart, and it’s especially bad for you when your team can be eliminated if the other team scores first. So the good people of Nashville thank you, Viktor, for letting them pursue heart disease on their own by eating massive amounts of delicious BBQ.

Things to read today

83 Wolfpack finally get to go to the White House

Did you know only Jim Valvano went to the White House after NC State’s national championship? The school wouldn’t pay for the players to go and a donor paying for it would have been an NCAA violation. That’s some ass-backwards crud.

Satellite camps back

Well, that didn’t take long. Satellite camps are back on and Michigan has announced 26 satellite camps in the month of June, which is a lot, because June only has 30 days. Making things more crazy, a recruiting dead period starts June 27th, meaning, yup, 26 camps in 26 days for Harbaugh and Co. That man must freebase Red Bull or something. I’m tired just typing about it.

The best of the rest

If you remember, Goran Dragic of the Miami Heat had his teeth go through his lip after an elbow to the chops a few games ago. That came after he had teeth knocked out multiple times in the regular season. Someone get this guy a protective mask.

Here’s some Miami bros being Miami bros

Wha? How?

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May 9, 2016: The Game Managers are super scared of Boban

Quote of the day

“It may not be a rumor.” Floyd Mayweather when talking about the possibility of him fighting UFC star Conor McGregor. It would be a boxing match, which Floyd would win, but it’s still fun to think about.

About last night . . .

Cavs sweep Hawks

Cleveland became the ninth team in NBA history to start a postseason 8-0 or better after finishing off their sweep of the Hawks. There isn’t a ton to take away on the Hawks side of things, as this series was less competitive than Cleveland’s first round series with Detroit. Something noteworthy has happened with the Cavs and you may not have noticed it until a few days ago. And that is that they have become the Golden State Warriors. In the series against Atlanta they set single game threes, single half threes, threes in a four game series and a bunch of other absurd stats that you can read about here. The short version? They are shooting the absolute hell out of the ball from 3. We’ll ignore their high (bad) defensive efficiency numbers for as long as they keep setting records from deep.

Thunder and Spurs are playing basketball and boy, is it fun to watch

A day after we basically called the Thunder chokers, Kevin Durant scored 29 second-half points on his way to 41 and led the Thunder to a Game 4 win. The Thunder trailed by 10 after one quarter, and by eight at halftime, so good on them for finding another gear in the second half, where they out-scored the Spurs 66-44. The series shifts back to San Antonio for its crucial Game 5. While it still kind of feels like the Spurs will win that game and take a 3-2 series lead, putting pressure back on the Thunder, we’ve reached that point in the series where it’s not outside of the realm of possibility for Russell Westbrook and Durant to simply take over a couple games and lead their team to the upset. I’m just glad we have at least two more of these games.

Lightning advance to Eastern Conference Finals

Tampa Bay has been stellar thus far in the postseason, needing only 10 games to advance to the conference finals. They needed 13 at this point last season en route to the Stanley Cup Finals. They clinched their 2nd straight conference finals appearance with a 4-0 win over the New York Islanders. They are now 8-2 in the playoffs, outscoring opponents 3.0 goals per game to 1.9 goals per game.

St. Louis, San Jose and Pittsburgh looking for series wins

All three teams are holding on to 3-2 series leads and will have the chance to finish off their opponents in the coming hours and days. St. Louis and San Jose both won over the weekend and can advance to the Western Conference Finals with wins tonight. Pittsburgh lost game 5 to Washington but still hold a 3-2 series lead with game 6 in Pittsburgh tomorrow night. It’s about to be a couple of days off high stress playoff hockey, which is the best kind of hockey.

Things to read today

Eric LeGrand, always inspirational

Eric LeGrand was paralyzed while making a tackle for Rutgers in 2010. He’s been quite a source of inspiration since that day and the letter he wrote to his mom for mother’s day is an example of that. Granted, he wrote it last year, but it should be revisited every mother’s day.

Everything you need to know about the  Kentucky Derby

Tim Layden writes the hell out of horse racing and his sum up of the Kentucky Derby will tell you everything you need to know about Saturday’s race and winner.

The best of the rest

Kawhi Leonard has giant suction cups for hands. Is it a wonder why he’s won two defensive player of the year awards?

Leonard doesn’t even have the most freakishly large hands on his team though. Not even close, really. Boban Marjanovic . . . if you don’t know, now you know.

Boban holds a basketball. Simple enough.

Boban’s hands compared to a normal person’s.

Boban stands next to 6’ tall Patty Mills.

Boban’s hand breaks Ray McCollum’s shoulder.

Boban palms gallon of tea.

Boban makes normal sized human look like a dwarf.

Boban.

“Kyrie is glitching again . . . somebody needs to take his batteries out and put him in a bowl of rice for an hour.”

Pete Weber is a professional bowler and crazy man who once aggressively shouted, “Who do you think you are? I am!” at the crowd after winning a tournament or something. Well, yesterday he was at some bowling thing that happened to be on TV and . . .

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