The Game Managers: April 19, 2016: Some investigative work from The Game Managers

Something for the committee

The Pulitzer committee handed out its awards Monday, and the Game Managers were shockingly not on the list.

It turns out investigative journalism is something they reward, so we’re going to do that, even though we think they should meet us somewhere in the middle of writing about a possible massive earthquake that would eliminate the west coast and writing about ditching Ernie Els in a nonexistent scramble.

So today, we’re investigating Johnny Manziel. More specifically, the whereabouts of Johnny Manziel.

Let’s call it “Where in the World is Johnny Manziel” because that sounds original.

Here are the clues:

Johnny is in a warm place.
Johnny is in a place with running water.
Johnny hears pounding, could be tribal drums.
There are no street lights that Johnny can see.
There is a bright light shining in his face, perhaps a beautiful sunrise.

So where is Johnny?

Johnny is passed out on the street on the outskirts of the Vegas strip. He just pissed himself and now people are shooting video of him that they will post to Instagram.

Thank you for playing, “Where in the World is Johnny Manziel.”

Three Things to Read Today

Here’s your daily dose of inspiration

You and I, we can’t run a marathon. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, we probably can’t run a 5K either. Our back has been pretty stiff lately and our left knee has been kind of creaky since that last time we went to the gym. When was that anyway? 2008? 2009? What year is it? It’s 2016? That can’t be right. That seems like a made up year. Anyway, Adrianne Haslet, a survivor of the Boston Marathon bombings completed the 26.2 mile race on a prosthetic leg, proving that she is tougher and way more badass than you or I will ever be.

Robert Nkemdiche wants a pet panther and it gets more interesting

Seth Wickersham wrote a profile of the polarizing Robert Nkemdiche. There is a real shot the top-five talent falls out of the first round of the NFL draft in two weeks and a lot of it has to do with his off-field incidents. But it’s also in part to the over-dissection of prospects NFL front offices take part in every year in preparation for the draft. And Morgan Freeman makes a guest appearance.

But could the Warriors beat the Bulls?

We’ll never have the answer to that question, which is a good thing, because the discussion is a really great way for people with generational gaps to interact with and relate to each other. And it’s a bad thing BECAUSE WE WANT TO WATCH THEM PLAY DAMMIT. Video games are the closest we’ll probably ever get--at least in the near future--to seeing a matchup like that. Virtual simulations are of course wholly unreliable as a 100% predictive measure, because, you know, people, but it’s still fun to watch them and wonder how it would really play out.

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