Quote of the day
“You know, the amazing thing is that basketball ring . . .” - Ted Cruz, last week, failing at recreating that scene from Hoosiers while campaigning in Indiana. Basketball fans would say it’s no coincidence his campaign ended last night.
About last night . . .
Raptors totally blow an amazing moment
A halfcourt buzzer beater following an improbable rally is normally the type of thing that energizes a team. To be clear, we mean the team that hit the buzzer beater after the improbably rally. Toronto missed this memo, and despite forcing overtime with a ridiculous shot from Kyle Lowry, lost Game 1 against Miami by falling completely on its face in the extra session. Drake will write a song about this game, and 100 women will believe it’s about them, but only because he has a sex move called the Kyle Lowry.
Warriors don’t need Steph Curry (just kidding, yes they do)
But at the moment, they actually kind of don’t. The Warriors outscored Portland 34-12 in the fourth quarter of Game 2 to win 110-99 and take a 2-0 lead in the series, despite getting zero minutes from Steph for the third straight game. It sounds like he’s healing well and will be ready to go in this series, but at this point, why?
Lightning snatch home ice advantage back
Tampa Bay and New York split the first two games of the series down in America’s sketchiest panhandle, so the Lightning were going to have to do some work on the road to preserve their chances at winning the series. They did just that with a 5-4 win in OT after tying the game in the waning moments of the 3rd period. The onus now shifts to the Islanders, lest they be forced to win three straight games--two on the road--to win the series. Game 4 is Friday night in Brooklyn.
Nashville gets on the board
It seems the luck of Joe-PAW-velski has been put on hold (more on that later). Nashville won 4-1 last night to cut their 2-0 series deficit in half, while disappointing one Bay Area kitten in particular. The victory is probably a season-saving one for Nashville as the perils of being down 0-3 in a series are well documented. Being down 3-1 isn’t all that much better, so game 4 tomorrow night is a biggun.
Blues romp Stars in honor of Tony X.
If you’re struggling to recall who Tony X. is, he’s a guy who accidentally fell in love with hockey one night, broadcasted such things on Twitter and quickly became one of hockey’s greatest fans. He became such a thing that the St. Louis Blues invited him out to game 3 and he and they couldn’t have asked for a better result. The Blues were all over the Stars and won 6-1 to take a 2-1 series lead. We’re not much for rooting for St. Louis because we grew up as Red Wings fans in the 90’s, but they’re overdue and the city just lost a football team. They could use a reason to gain more hockey fans.
Things to read today
Steven Adams is a gargantuan center for the Oklahoma City Thunder. His physique combined with long, dark hair and an excellent mustache make him look like a samurai, Cavalier and mountain all smooshed into one being. And, he’s from New Zealand, where they don’t really play much basketball.
Last week we encouraged you to watch a video of men reading degrading and awful tweets that were directed at women sportswriters to those very sportswriters. This is basically that, extended and in words.
But what about that cat that ran onto the ice in San Jose last week?
She’s okay! The kitten hid under the bleachers in the rink after getting off the ice and staff were able to wrangle it and get it to the humane society. There it was discovered the kitten was a girl, so the originally dubbed “Joe-PAW-velski becam Jo-PAW-velski. We’re a little bummed the team didn’t just adopt the cat as an unofficial mascot, but we’re sure some lucky person will take care of that.
The best of the rest
We will forever and always include all sports dogs
I think discluding the halfcourt buzzer beat from the newsletter would be some type of federal offense. And if not in America, then definitely in Canada.
When you suspend your campaign, your first move should not be to punch and elbow your wife in the face.
The best part is when he goes to casually shake his assistant’s hand at the end.
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