Quote of the Day
“To be able to punch out 20, that’s sexy.” Fucking Max Scherzer.
About Last Night …
Warriors move on
Portland hung around in Game 5, but the Golden State Warriors ended the Trailblazers season behind another big night from the Splash Bros. Klay Thompson had 33 and Steph Curry had 29, and the two combined to shoot 11-20 from 3. Splash Bros. should be a video game by now. Or at least a porn. It may already be a porn. You know what, let’s all be safe and not google it.
Raptors take 3-2 lead in worst series ever
The Raptors and the Heat are probably going to end up playing a seven-game series, and by the laws of sports and sports commentating, we’re required to call all seven-game series epic battles, or something like that. This has not been that. The games have been close, but that does not mean they’ve been good. Between the injuries, piss poor shooting and knowledge the Cavs are going to crush whoever ends up winning here, we can pretty much agree this will be one of the more forgettable seven-game series of all time. Then again, Toronto -- which won Wednesday -- could win Game 6 and make it one of the more forgettable six-game series of all time.
Game 7s aren’t supposed to look like this
NHL Game 7s are supposed to leave you on the edge of your seat for 2 hours. You’re not supposed to be able to take a potty break, even during intermissions, on the off chance someone scores and changes the tide of the game. That was not the case in St. Louis’ 6-1 thrashing of Dallas Wednesday. The Blues jumped out to a 3-0 lead in the first period, and added two more in the second just in case Stars fans had any ideas of a comeback in mind. So now three of the four conference finals slots are filled, with the winner of tonight’s Game 7 between Nashville and San Jose to fill the final one.
Max Scherzer strikes out all the Tigers
Former Tiger Fucking Max Scherzer struck out 20 Tigers in a 3-2 win for the Nationals, tying the MLB record for strikeouts in a nine-inning game. Scherzer did it in 119 pitches -- because god forbid the Tigers ever make a pitcher work late into a count -- and 97 of those were strikes, which is absurd. Of the 20 strikeouts, 18 were swinging strikeouts, because of course they were, he was pitching against the Tigers. Ian Kinsler, JD Martinez, Miguel Cabrera, James McCann and Anthony Gose each wore a Golden Sombrero, and somehow Victor Martinez went 3-4. This performance also came with the Tigers’ best hitter this year -- Nick Castellanos -- on the bench. For, like, the whole game. Even when there was a chance to pinch hit him in the ninth inning of a one-run game. Tough to blame Brad Ausmus for wanting to see history.
Things to Read
Tim Duncan is old
SB Nation’s Tom Ziller takes a look at Tim Duncan, who looks old on a basketball court for the first time in his career. On one hand, it’s amazing that it’s taken this long. On the other, it’s kind of sad to see Tim Duncan being a liability for his team.
Find your rookie fantasy sleepers here
When it comes to fantasy football and rookies, it’s not always about who’s the best, but about who fits best into the system they were drafted in, and will be utilized. This SI.com article isn’t necessarily fantasy based, but it does give some insight into the best schematic fits among the rookie class, and that should give you some ideas for your draft in August.
Best of the Rest
Portland made some interesting lineup decisions …
Then again, it probably doesn’t matter who you have guarding him.
Of course, not everything can be awesome and amazingly athletic every night. Big ups to Andrew Bogut’s cup.
Nobody would argue with this. I’m still picking the Cavs in a sweep.
Oh god, the carnage!
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