Folks, we are officially losing money.
After a 2-5 week, the record has moved to 20-21 on the season, and frankly I’m disappointed in all of you.
The only way to fix this is to threaten all of your positions and fire Wil. It has to be done. Just so long as I don’t take any of the responsibility.
Also, what the fuck, Brian Kelly? Calling 36 pass plays in a one-score game in a hurricane? Really?
Anyway, here are the picks that have to be right, or else my legs get broken.
Nebraska (-3) at Indiana
I like Indiana this year. The win against Michigan State may not be as flashy as it was when it happened, but this is Indiana we’re talking about, so it still seems pretty big. Vegas must think quite a bit of the Hoosiers, too, as they’re only a 3-point dog against a top 10 team. Or maybe, like me, Vegas doesn’t think much of Nebraska? Give me the home team here. Pick: Indiana.
To Fade or Not to Fade
Folks, this line stinks to the high heavens. Indiana hung really tough with OSU and while Paul is right about the MSU win, it's still something that traditionally hadn't happened at Indiana. They're better than you and I think because we're biased by their miserable history. Pick: Not to Fade
Alabama (-12) at Tennessee
Tennessee is in the middle of a brutal stretch of games, and the emotion of the last two weeks could be tough to deal with, especially if Alabama starts fast and takes the Neyland Stadium crowd out of it. Count me among those who think that happens. Alabama is a flat-out better team, and as good as I think Tennessee is, this one has the potential to spin out of control. Pick: Alabama.
To Fade or Not to Fade
Two words. Blood. Bath. And it won't be streaming from the noses of the Alabama faithful. Tennessee had been really fortunate all season prior to last week and relying on fortune against the Tide is not a super good plan. Pick: Not to Fade
Ohio State (-10.5) at Wisconsin
As much as I love the Wisconsin defense, it hasn’t seen anything quite like the Ohio State offense. LSU and Michigan State’s offenses are horribad, and Michigan’s is good but not great. Ohio State isn’t going to score 50, but 30 would be enough against a bad Wisconsin offense to cover this spread. Pick: Ohio State
To Fade or Not to Fade
Here is an opinion: Ohio state is the best team in the country. And this line is huge, especially because we do know Wisconsin is a legitimate good team. Vegas knows. Pick: Not to fade
North Carolina at Miami (-7)
North Carolina is hard to read, and I’m trying not to think too much about last week’s result against Virginia Tech because the game was played in a hurricane. It’s amazing that I can keep writing that sentence and not be exaggerating at all. As I write this, I still don’t feel certain either way, so the safe thing would be to not pick one of these teams to win by a touchdown. Pick: North Carolina.
To Fade or Not to Fade
North Carolina is better than Miami. Pick: Not to fade
Northwestern at Michigan State (-6.5)
This is a big game for Michigan State, not just because four-game losing streaks are bad, but because this is the true “show me” game for the Spartans early on. A bad showing against BYU isn’t forgivable, but it was a non-conference game in the middle of a conference schedule. This is the one MSU has to win to show everyone that it’s not going to go meekly into the offseason at .500 or below. Picking that offense to beat anyone not named Notre Dame by a touchdown seems dumb, but it kind of feels right here. Pick: Michigan State.
To Fade or Not to Fade
Don't bet on this game. Please don't. Promise me you won't do that. We don't even know who is going to play quarterback for Michigan state this week. It could be me out there on Saturday. Why would you feel comfortable picking this game? Pick: MSU by 100
Ole Miss (-7.5) at Arkansas
Arkansas has been exposed a bit in each of its SEC games, getting pasted by Texas A&M and Alabama. Sure, Texas A&M and Alabama are legitimate playoff contenders this year, and Ole Miss is not, but the Rebels are still better than Arkansas. My guess is quite a bit better than an Arkansas team that is a week removed from getting physically beat up by Alabama. Pick: Ole Miss.
To Fade or Not to Fade
Yeah I'll take 7 and the hook for a home dawg coached by Bielema. Pick: To Fade
Stanford at Notre Dame (-3)
One score has separated these two teams in each of their last four meetings, including a year ago when they were both top 10 teams and Stanford won on a last-second field goal in one of the best games of the season. Oh, how far they have fallen. Both teams limp into this with essentially unsalvageable seasons (in mid-October!), and Stanford is limping in possibly without Christian McCaffrey -- or at the least a very beaten up Christian McCaffrey. The Cardinal offense is pretty toothless without him, but will Notre Dame’s equally toothless defense make this look like the Cardinal of old? Who knows. I would expect a shootout, so I’ll lean to the home team with the much better quarterback. Pick: Notre Dame.
To Fade or Not to Fade
Instead of bathing in the glory of his team’s suckitude, Paul still fears it and that's a shame. LEAN IN, PAUL. YOU AND I CAN RIDE THE GOODYEAR BLIMP OF DISGRACE AS WE WATCH OUR RESPECTIVE SEASONS GO DOWN IN FLAMES AND CRASH GLORIOUSLY INTO THE FLOOR OF THE FBS, DRAGGING OUR PRIDE, ENDOWMENT AND RECRUITING RANKINGS WITH IT. LEAN IN, BUDDY. Pick: Not to Fade
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